There are days when I get up feeling like I could conquer the world. And then, there are those other days. The days when I don’t think I’ll be able to get out of bed, let alone do anything else. And the hardest part about those days is knowing that I have a ton of daily tasks to get done, and not enough energy to do them. These are the days when it’s very important to remind myself to take things one day, or one hour, or one minute, or even one second at a time; when I have to remind myself that I’m not Superman, and that my personal worth doesn’t depend on whether I did an allotted amount of work; when I have to remind myself that tomorrow’s another day, and that sometimes it’s OK to just slow down and take things as they come. Fatigue, both physical and mental, is a big part of Lupus, and a lot of the time, that’s the biggest battle for me, far and above the pain caused by any of the other attendant symptoms. Often, I berate myself for being lazy, even though I know this is completely irrational, because there is a good reason for not moving, or not getting as much work done as I would like. I know, on a rational level, that I’m not lazy, but sometimes the self-hatred can become overpowering. But I know in these cases that my emotions are getting the better of me, and I have to stop and tell myself to look at my situation logically and rationally. In this year of 2013, I plan to pay more attention so that when my emotions start to run wild and I start to berate myself, I can stop and reorient to a more rational perspective. I know that this will take a lot of effort and prayer on my part, but I believe I can be successful. And on the days I stumble, I will remember to tell myself that tomorrow’s another day.

This post is part of a series for National Blog Post Month, (NaBloPoMo). If you would like to participate, or read other posts, go to the NaBloMoPo site, and be sure to add your post to the list.

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15 thoughts on “

  1. I folled your blog from Blogher. I hope that’s ok.

    I don’t have Lupus, but boy does this sound like what I go through with depression and bipolar. Some days I just have to accept that I’m not going to get anything done beyond the necessary. Some days a shower is a major accomplishment. Other days I know that if I can just get the smallest little thing done, it will give me the energy I need to get the next thing done. And the next. And eventually I’ll have gotten through the day.

  2. Amanda, checking out your site, from nablopomo etc, and have to agree that some days it’s just tough to get motivated. I don’t have the medical things you talk about, altho my husband has some of his own, and I can relate that we definitely look at each day for what it will be worth. Then we make the most of that.

    Thanks for sharing your personal insights!

  3. Thank you for visiting my blog and your comments.
    Like Noel said, I do not have any of these medical issues but I do totally get that there are days when it is difficult to even get out of bed and be motivated to do even the bare minimum. I am hoping for fewer such days for all..
    Thank you..have bookmarked your blog and will be back again to read more.

  4. Hi everybody,

    Thanks for stopping by and reading.

    @Jerimi of course it’s OK if you found my blog via BlogHer. I totally get the depression thing. I’ve been there several times and am going through it now. And yes, somedays a shower is a major accomplishment. And the sad thing about depression is I don’t think it’s ever really cured. You just have good times and bad times. But I hope you have lots of days in a row that are good.

  5. Hi Noel,

    Thanks for stopping by and reading. I hope this year is full of good days for you and your husband. Having a chronic illness can be a real bear sometimes. If you and your husband are OK with it, can I have you guys in mind during my prayers?

  6. I hear you, big time….mostly about berating yourself for not getting stuff done. Like you, I need to ‘give myself permission’ [my version of coping] to not accomplish things…my dear husband is far more realistic and encourages me to take rest, go slow and be patient..I think it’s patience that is needed the most. Thanks for such a wonderful post.

  7. Yeah I think patience is the key, and unfortunately I’m very short on that when it comes to myself. I tend to be more critical of myself than others, and there are days when I can be very critical of others. So imagine how critical I can be towards myself on those days!

  8. I can SO relate to this post! Many days I feel I can conquer the world, then others I dread getting out of bed because of the amount of goals I want to achieve that day… lol. I am definitely checking in on your blog because I can connect! 🙂 Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts on my blog as well!

  9. Two years is still quite recent for a life changing diagnosis like Lupus. I think this year will treat you better than the last two. Perfection is a hard thing to overcome; and cutting yourself some slack can sometimes be even harder. Time for new mental programming (positive) while telling the old to ‘uh! get out!’

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