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Twitter syndication is becoming less and less worth it.

Constantly having to reauthorize Bridgy, only to then have Twitter give me crap because “Hey, we saw a log-in from a different device!”

No you didn’t you morons, it’s me, and I shouldn’t have to keep reauthorizing just because you hate third-party clients.

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OK, so the hot new Ambutech cane I recently purchased has cracked, so it’s time for another one, and so it’s also time for a rant about assistive technology and eCommerce. Specifically, why does every single assistive technology vendor’s eCommerce setup have to suck so badly? Most of these are running WooCommerce, and holy hell it’s painfully obvious that these installs aren’t up-to-date, that the themes being used do not have WooCommerce support, (let alone accessibility), and that whoever set these up knows pretty much nothing about eCommerce, marketing, or WooCommerce. This isn’t about one-man shops. This is about vendors who have staff, who have the income, and yet who are perfectly willing to provide their customers with a horrible user experience just to save some cash. Guys, eCommerce is hard. There’s a reason you’re not going to get a working eCommerce that does everything you need it to do for any less than $10,000. But trust me, it’s worth the investment. If your customers have an enjoyable experience shopping with you, (and this includes accessibility), they will be more than willing to recommend you to their friends and family and you will see more business for your efforts.

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The quickest way to get your web developer to hate you, and I mean really really hate you, is to send them content that you’ve copied into a Microsoft Word document from various emails and ask that that content be formatted, (properly marked up), for the web. Your newsletter also counts as “for the web”. Do not do this. Ever. Microsoft Word is not a text editor. It is not the thing you use to create content for the web, even if your gold-plated screen reader assists you in doing so with its handy “keep-all-the-formatting-from-shit-you-copy-off-webpages” feature. Why any screen reader assists in doing this is beyond me. The fact that you couldn’t just copy shit off the web and paste it into a Word document formatting intact as a screen reader user was a good thing. In fact, they should just take that feature away from everybody. It shouldn’t be allowed. Under any circumstances. While I’m at it, let’s take away the ability for people to copy things into the WordPress editor from Microsoft Word and keep the formatting too. We shouldn’t be encouraging that at all. We’re contributing to the human race circling the drain by allowing it. Every time you copy something into a Word document from the web, and opt to keep the formatting, kittens die. You may as well have kicked several puppies. You hate your country, adopted or otherwise. And you’ll probably be the ones we really need to keep an eye on when the zomby apocalypse happens, because you’ll get yourselves bitten and then not tell anybody you’ve been bitten.

I’m going to shove this bastard of a newsletter out the door. Then, I’m going to go for a long walk and try to convince myself not to go drink the beers that are left in the fridge this early in the day.

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I am primarily an NVDA user. I switched after close to twenty years of Jaws for Windows usage, (including a stint as a technical support rep, so yeah, I’m really familiar with how it works), because as a web developer NVDA meets my needs better than Jaws does when it comes to less hand-holding and more stability. But I still keep a copy of the latest Jaws for Windows around because part of my job as a web developer is ensuring as much cross-screen-reader compatibility as possible along with cross-browser compatibility. Every single time I load Jaws to test something I re-encounter a host of bugs, random crashes, the need to kill the jfw.exe process when it randomly stops speaking and reload, only to find that now the display chain is fucked so let’s kill process after process after process and load clean. And yet, the National Federation of the Blind feels it necessary to go after Apple and leave Freedom Scientific alone. I’ll be the first one to tell you as a web developer that there are times I’d like to see VoiceOver die in a healthy forest fire. But Jaws for Windows is buggier by far, and I expect that the only reason the NFB is going after Apple is because it’s not giving proper obeisance and providing a suitable offering as its act of worship. Why doesn’t the NFB just come out and say that, as long as you pay for an indulgence, you’ll be fine. The NFB will leave you alone, look the other way, ETC. Also, how can the NFB be trusted as an accessibility advocacy organization when it’s more than clearly indicated that it’s willing to jump in bed with, and snuggle up to, any organization that’s willing to fill its coffers, regardless of whether or not they’re doing anything about accessibility? That’s not an advocacy organization, it’s a shake-down organization. But yes, we should totally trust their judgment when they sue people over websites.

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I’m sitting at the computer working, and I have the TV on Discovery II in the background. They’ve been running these shows all morning about super humans, people who can do all this amazing stuff that normal people can’t do. And sure enough, we’ve come to an episode with a superblink, one of these blind people who are just so damn amazing. This guy’s apparently superhuman because he uses sonar and makes clicky noises with his tongue in order to determine what’s around him.

I really, really hate this sort of thing. Maybe “normal” people find this amazing, but I, and most of the other blind people I know, find people who do things like make random noises for whatever reason, (specifically, going around clicking with their tongues), to be incredibly annoying.

Why is it annoying, you ask? Because it’s the exact opposite of something I posted on Facebook the other day that discussed the irrational fear by others that blind people have to deal with and combat on a pretty frequent basis. But where this article portrayed the feared blind bogyman as being extra stupid or extra poor or extra afflicted, this show flips the coin and puts blind people on an unnaturally high pedestal. But either way, we’re dealing with objectification of the blind, which is bad, and, whether good or bad, it’s something that’s dealt with by blind people all the time. We’re either incredibly stupid or so awesome that it defies explanation, which spirals into “you’re just so inspiring, I don’t know how you do it, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God,” porn for the light slaves.

This might be cool if we could use it to our advantage, like maybe convincing sighted people that we’re all gods in disguise and therefore we need all sorts of offerings or whatever, and those offerings had to consist of lots of money and tech and big houses and such. But since that’s not the case, I figure we should just keep it at normal for all of our sakes.

As blind people, a lot of us complain when others treat us differently from “normal” people. And in a lot of cases, those complaints are justified. But we’re not doing ourselves any favors by contributing to that mistreatment. There’s a Hebrew phrase that seems apt here, Kol eravim zeh l’zeh, which basically means “we’re all responsible for each other.” It means that what one of us does has an effect on everyone else in the community, whether good or bad. In these cases, where the blind community meets the press, it isn’t the good we do for each other that gets the influence, it’s the bad. And that means every time someone puts themselves out there to be revered by sighted people, the rest of us are expected to either do that, or we’re assumed to have special powers, (which we don’t), or it goes the opposite way and it has adverse effects on our daily interactions, our travel, our business dealings, and anything else it can possibly touch. So I’m asking my fellow blinks to please keep that in mind if you’re ever tempted to put yourself out there for sighted awe, because the benefits just aren’t worth it.

Evans, Georgia, United States
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I’m trying to be nice about this, I really am. Mainly because I don’t want to push away my sighted readers. But I came across something incredibly stupid today that I think demands a complete fisking. So today, we’re going to visit E-how and find out why this article is wrong on every single level. But first, let’s get some things out of the way. As I said I’m going to try to keep from offending my sighted readers. To that end, I will try to provide constructive answers, even though quite frankly I’m foaming at the mouth. So if I say anything offensive, let me know in the comments, but try not to take it personally. I really do love all of you guys. There’s going to be a little visualization exercise at the end of this, and a pop-quiz. (No, not really a pop-quiz). So let’s start at the beginning.

Having a disabled person in your life can be a challenge. Many blind people have never had sight, so they cannot relate to color, shape or perspective. Here are steps you can take to help a blind person live with his or her handicap.

The first thing that realy bothers me about this article is that it has one hundred and thirty-seven (137) likes on Facebook. Now, some of these could be simply because there isn’t a hate button, but I doubt it. And if it has that many likes, then there are a lot of uneducated people out there, and I sincerely hope that all those people go out, find and talk to actual people who happen to be blind for their own sakes.

And now to the meat of it. Specifically, this bit about blind people having no perspective about shapes, or just plain not having any perspective at all. Lots of blind people know about shapes. We can even identify some of them. Just because our eyes don’t work doesn’t mean the rest of us doesn’t work. We have working brains in most cases, get educations. Some of us even have degrees, and (gasp) jobs, which I’m pretty sure you can’t get if you don’t start out by being able to identify shapes. Some blind people, even though they’ve never had full sight, can identify colors, or at least the basics. And no, I don’t know anyone who has learned to identify colors by the way things feel. That’s a huge myth unfortunately perpetuated by the movies. So is that thing about blind people feeling other people’s faces to find out what they look like. I don’t know anyone who’s ever done that to strangers, unless you count the people who want to use that as an excuse to hopefully cop a much more involved feel.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4snGt8OzUV0]

This wasn’t the clip I was looking for, but it illustrates how the face-feeling myth gets propagated.

So by this point, we’ve established that

  • Blind people know what shapes are and how to identify them
  • And blind people really don’t feel people’s faces to find out what they look like. There are usually other motives, like sex.

On to the next bit.

Put everything back in the same place after cleaning. If you have someone help you clean, make sure they are advised to do the same.

This one isn’t actually a bad idea. But I assumed that this was just the decent thing to do. The only quibble I have with this is that, while there’s no problem with cleaning or getting help to clean, most of the blind people I know can pick up after themselves. We may need some assistance with things, (like cleaning glass), but generally blind people are perfectly capable of cleaning up, and should be doing that by themselves.

Keep everything on a blind person’s desk exactly where he or she left it. This applies to braille paper, CDs, radios, telephones and computer accessories.

This is also a good idea. Most of us, (and I’m sure that includes sighted people), hate it when other people move crap around, or don’t put things back, and blind people are no different in that regard.

Try to keep all hallway and cabinet doors closed. Warn the blind person if you plan to have a particular door open for a prolonged period.

Ooooooo-kay. I mean, if the door opens on the hallway, maybe I could see that. But just because there’s a door or cabbinet open doesn’t mean alarms need to start going off. Blind people learn their surroundings, learn where doors are, and pretty much learn to move around them when they’re open.

And here’s where it starts getting really stupid again.

Keep restocking supplies of anything the blind person uses regularly. This includes food and drink, bathroom items and paper towels.

Here’s a better idea. Take your blind housemate or spouse or friend to the store, Ask if they need anything if you’re going to the store by yourself. I suppose if you want to occasionally pick up something because you notice it’s running low, that’s fine. But blind people who are responsible, independent adults can and do make decisions about what they need and what needs to be replenished. I hated this part especially, and the items that come after it, because they assume an incredible patronizing tone which is extremely offensive, and will make most blind people I know foam at the mouth.

Take out the trash regularly. Check for food that has been accidentally dropped on the floor or not returned to the refrigerator.

No. Definitely no. We can, and unless there’s some other physical disability that prevents this involved, be expected to do this on our own. Same with food being put back in the fridge. In this case, if you wouldn’t do it for a sighted housemate, don’t do it for the blind one. But do make a point of remind that some food has been left out that needs to be put away.

Remember to turn off the lights before you leave, particularly if you are a part-time caretaker. Most blind people have limited incomes.

If this article had been entitled “How to take care of an elderly blind person” possibly with dementia, This might be relevant. But to assume that you should turn off lights because the poor thing is on a fixed income is just patronizing and stupid. Ask if they want the light left on. Most of the time, you’ll probably be asked to turn it off. But the point is, ask. Don’t just assume.

Help the blind person braille a list of important phone numbers, account numbers and any other personal information they might need to access when you are not available.

Once again, ask. Most blind people will take the initiative and ask for phone numbers and account numbers they need, and put them in their phones or wherever they keep other important information. But the important thing is to ask, and not assume.

Some blind people have problems opening doors with keys. You can buy a lock that requires both a matching fingerprint and a code for entry. It also comes with a standard key as insurance should it stop functioning.

OK, this is just stupid. Incredibly stupid. Unless there’s some other physical disability involved, we don’t usually have extra trouble opening doors with keys. Does this person really think we all live in apartments or houses with special locks?

And here’s my absolute favorite:

Keep all sharp objects like knives or scissors out of reach.

Damn. I was going to murder my guide dog, but they took my sharp objects away!

This evidences the “poor thing, she’ll hurt herself” mentality, which I hate with a passion. If every blind person were actually subjected to this sort of treatment, we’d never eat steak again. (which would be a special kind of hell, in my oppinion). But seriously, childproofing, (and that’s pretty much what this little nugget suggests), for people just because they’re blind is really demeaning. I’m surprised this idiot didn’t just go ahead and advise caregivers to roll out the potty chairs, because, you know, blind people are so incapable of taking care of ourselves. So what if we cut ourselves. If it really gets bad enough that it needs stitches, then maybe it might be time to worry. But most of us know how to clean a cut and put a bandaid over it like anyone else. And we need to shave. What are we supposed to do, get help bathing too?

Thankfully, this stops right here and we don’t have to go any further. And I hope I’ve made it easier to see why someone might get offended over this sort of thing. It’s patronizing and objectifying all at the same time. Just visualize for a minute how you would feel if someone seriously wrote an article on how to take care of a sighted person, and suggested that we put pictures on everything to make it easier for you to figure out what it is. I can’t think of anything dumber than that, because I don’t spend most of my time demeaning sighted people, unless I’m joking. If you have a blind person in your life, whether it’s a friend or spouse or colleague, talk to them. Ask questions. Hell, you can even do it in the comments, and I’ll try to answer as best I can. Just don’t go to eHow looking for advise on how to help blind people, because if you do that, and follow some of the advise you find, you really will make a complete ass of yourself, and whichever of us you’re dealing with will likely hate you for the rest of your life. OK, probably not for the rest of your life, but they will be really pissed. and hurt because you didn’t just ask. And if you’re that person’s parent, he or she could retaliate in your later years by putting you in a nursing home when you don’t really need it. (Just a joke. That probably wouldn’t happen. But they’d be tempted).

Until next time.

Evans, Georgia, United States