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It’s come to my attention that social media sites are supposed to be collecting tax filing information from tax preparers for its users. I regret to inform you that Infosec.exchange has been negligent in this area and I would like to sincerely apologize to all that I may have offended by failing to collect this information like real social media sites are supposed to. I have fired the department responsible for the serious oversight.

Thank you and goodnight.

—@jerry

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Roomba support
If your Roomba has begun displays of potentially suicidal behaviour, eg; playing chicken with the garden hose: press 6.
If your Roomba tries to hump your leg each time you bring a date home: press 7.
If you’ve caught your Roomba trying to plug itself into a USB port on your computer to access the Home and Garden channel: press 8.
If your Roomba has fused with your microwave: hang up the phone, grab your belongings and get the fuck out.

—@ChristineMalec