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[Interior – Olive Garden, festive Italian music playing]

Me: Is it true that when you’re here, you’re family?

Waiter: Absolutely! We strive to make everyone feel welcome and like they are part of the family. Mangia! Hahaha!

Me: That’s awesome.

[intense music]

Me: I really need your help. I’m in debt way over my head, and I don’t have any one else to ask. Can you spot me the money?

Waiter: Oh, here we go again! I can’t just bail you out. You need to learn personal responsibility.

Me: Look, the thrill of gambling got the best of me. Instead of winning, I lost, big time. I owe money to some very scary people. Can’t you just help me out this one time?

Waiter: I can’t keep bailing you out all the time! It won’t solve the underlying problem. Maybe you should chalk it up as a growth opportunity?

Me: Oh, c’mon! You helped Debbie when she got in that car accident!

Waiter: Don’t you take that tone with me young man! That was different, she wasn’t at fault, and she needed a car to get to work. This is just like you! How dare you try to guilt trip me!

Me: Whatever, you are being an asshole like always! Bad things will happen to me if I don’t pay back the debt. I know you have never given a shit about me, but do you think could try at least once in my life?

Waiter: That’s a lie! I care deeply about you, and it pains me to see you like this. But if I keep letting you avoid the consequences, you’ll never learn. Let’s find a solution together. Have you ever though about seeking professional help or credit counseling?

Me: I guess I was hoping you could wave your magic wand and solve this for me. You’re right; I need to clean up my own mess.

[cheerful upbeat music]

Waiter: That’s the spirit! I’ll support you through this process. Let your mistakes be your teachers. I want you to grow and become the man you are supposed to be.

Me: Thanks, it’s a bitter pill, but it’s about time I finally man up. Can I at least have a hug?

Waiter: Sorry, the best I can do is more breadsticks and salad!

Me: Hahah, bring them on!

[I walk into the bathroom and shimmy out the window and curl up in the fetal position to hide in a dumpster]

Voiceover: Olive Garden, because when you’re here, you’re family!

—@StefanThinks

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Remembering the time I posted on Reddit about a waitress at a chain restaurant treating a blind person like she didn’t exist, repeatedly, despite very pointed suggestions from both the blind and sighted customer that she not do that. I got a lot of interesting responses from all over the map, and most of them sided against the waitress, but there were two diametrically opposed arguments that were repeated many times:
1. “She probably didn’t know how to make eye contact so she felt awkward and didn’t know how to address a blind person.”
2. “I’m not blind, but am <insert disability here>. This happens to me all the time.”

Some non-disabled people will defend ableism at all costs. Obviously, there are lots of solutions to argument #1, but it’s clear that isn’t even the problem. What would happen if I substituted “blind” with some other disability? Would people find another way to apologize on behalf of the abled, or is blindness just at the bottom of the totem pole?
We all need to learn to call this out when we see it. We are never in the wrong when we demand autonomy.
#disability #blind #blindness #ableism

—@simon

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Is running an automated checker enough for accessibility? @aardrian concludes, “When used correctly they can be extremely helpful. When used in the hands of a novice they can result in a sense of complacency. When not used at all they can be a missed opportunity.”
See his test testing results and related useful information: https://adrianroselli.com/2023/01/comparing-manual-and-free-automated-wcag-reviews.html
#accessibility #a11y

—@sbourne

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A Pinky & Brain spin-off for grown ups that always starts with them sitting tired at coffee in the morning:

Pinky: “What are we going to do tonight?”
Brain: “Same thing we do every night. Try to go to bed early”

And then the whole episode is just about how stuff comes up and prevents them from going to bed early.

—@mrtazz

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You don’t need to bring a gift to your Supreme Court hearing, but if you must, here is my justice registry.

#Law #LawFedi #Alito #ClarenceThomas #SCOTUS #Ethics #ProPublica #TheGiftThatKeepsOnGiving #EthicalObligations #ConflictsOfInterest #SamuelAlito #Gifts #GiftRegistries #Dobbs

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/you-dont-need-to-bring-a-gift-to-your-supreme-court-hearing-but-if-you-must-here-is-my-justice-registry

—@BoydstonLaw

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Years ago, I was at a web development conference talking with a friend and some people and this dude interrupted us to complain about how terrible it is that buildings can’t be renovated without making them accessible. I was afraid to disagree because he’s a republican, was carrying and we were in Florida, and so we just walked away from the conversation as he was ranting.

I keep thinking about that when I read about Reddit right now.

https://www.theverge.com/2023/6/23/23771396/reddit-subreddit-community-transcribers-accessibility

—@josh412