Uber driver to me: “So, were you born this way?” Me: “By this way I’m assuming you mean fabulous? It’s ok, you can say the word, I won’t be offended!” Driver: “There isn’t like … a surgery they can do to fix you?” Me: “Why would you fix fabulousity? I mean if I could have the ability to fly, then I’d consider it but honestly, why mess with perfection?”

—@Pawpower