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Spending quality time with a first-aid kit pulling a glass shard out of my toe was not how I wanted to start the morning.

Failure is not an option. But it is totally a strategy.

I almost added Google as my website when leaving a comment on someone’s blogpost. Yep, totally winning.

New drinking game. Every time IE crashes, take a drink.

That time I walked back to my desk without my just-filed coffee cup.

Coders gonna code.

Dolphin: The other other white meat.

Question now that Blind Mating Season has ended: How many updates are the audio porn collections going to get? Discuss.

Public betas are just a really clever way for software venders do user testing without paying for it.

Really? You’re going to make me answer security questions when I’m buzzed? Well-played credit union, well-played.

Yep, playing blind find with broken glass is exactly how I wanted to end the week. Fuck.

Grumble grumble grumble grumble I’m awake. I think.

Mmmm warm chocolate chip cookie.

Mmmm fresh, hot, loose-leaf tea. Thank you .@SinaBahram

Blind women need love too. Find out if the dude’s worth it with a detailed description of his naked pic. describe.ccn.me

Dinner consumed. Beer on the way. Time to throw down.

Need … more … coffee.

Go home Jaws, you’re drunk.

Welp, guess we’re rebooting already. Welcome to Tuesday.

A fart is a text message from a terd.