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Public betas are just a really clever way for software venders do user testing without paying for it.

Really? You’re going to make me answer security questions when I’m buzzed? Well-played credit union, well-played.

Yep, playing blind find with broken glass is exactly how I wanted to end the week. Fuck.

Grumble grumble grumble grumble I’m awake. I think.

Mmmm warm chocolate chip cookie.

Mmmm fresh, hot, loose-leaf tea. Thank you .@SinaBahram

Blind women need love too. Find out if the dude’s worth it with a detailed description of his naked pic. describe.ccn.me

Dinner consumed. Beer on the way. Time to throw down.

Need … more … coffee.

Go home Jaws, you’re drunk.

Welp, guess we’re rebooting already. Welcome to Tuesday.

A fart is a text message from a terd.

I’m staunchly conservative on a lot of issues. And guess what? Charleston shooter = terrorist. Period.

Roommate says it feels good outside. It’s over 100F. Roommate is officially batshit crazy.

Time for lunch.

Chip is officially possessed. Exercise the demon!

Mmmm chocolate.

OK, the sportsball is over. I will now return you to your regularly scheduled program of accessibility entertainment.

Braves defeat the Red Sox! Braves win! Braves win! Braves win!

Braves lead Red Sox! Braves lead Red Sox! Go Braves!