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Tech people: this JavaScript framework is 2 years old and is technical debt legacy ermahgerd and we need to rip it out right now and replace with this library I’ve read about 5 minutes ago!!1!

Also tech people: this washing machine only lasted 10 years, damn you planned obsolescence!!1!

—@thomasfuchs

There isn’t much to do on a rainy afternoon. It is a good time to share a bone with a friend. #DogsOfMastodon

—@Pawpower

What if meetings are just a conspiracy by extroverts to suck the life force from regular people?

—@Neat_hot

Let me put the unbearable pain of mass shootings into its’ proper prospective. As a retired federal agent, I have had the sad misfortune of cleaning up after a few of these “events” as they were called. Try to lift a dead child (or adult) from the ground to put on a gurney, and their head falls from their body. Or you have to collect body parts to “complete” a victim for analysis. It hurts the strongest of us. Let republicans come into scenes and do this job. Not one would last a minute.

—@AliensAbound

Toot Global, Browse Local

The Local Timeline is key to the #Mastodon experience. It’s a community of like-minded individuals sharing what they find interesting. Local is a human-curated alternative to the infamous #algorithm for discovering the best content. When a toot goes viral, it’s usually because people saw it on Local and boosted it hard! To make the most of it, find a server that focuses on topics of interest to you and migrate there.

—@baruch

A good percentage of my friends are Nazis. That percentage is zero; that’s a good percentage of Nazi friends to have.

—@MostlyHarmless

‘I never thought technology would automate MY job,’ sobs man who worked for Technology Automating Jobs Incorporated

—@MattHodges