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If you were walking on the beach and Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk were drowning in the ocean, and you only had time to save one of them, what kind of sandwich would you make?

—@oliphant

If you are okay with having Muslim, Jewish and Hindu students sit through a Christian prayer in public schools, and not okay with having Christian students sit through a Muslim, Jewish or Hindu prayer, then it’s NOT religious freedom – it’s religious oppression.

—@juglugs

I have adapted the scientific method per the latest developments in podcast science, as explicated in tweet format by Rogan, Musk, and Kennedy (2023). 
References:
Rogan, J., Musk, E., & Kennedy, R. (2023). “Debate Me Bro: Reconceptualizing science as an attention-seeking testosterone contest.” Journal of Doubt Profiteering, 1(1), 1-2.
#Science

—@rvawonk

I’m sorry I was unable to take your call, but if you leave a detailed message after the tone, as soon as I am available I will stare in disgusted amazement at the new message notification, muttering, “The fuck do they want?” before going about my day.

#voicemail #PhoneEtiquette

—@maxleibman

Once, years and years ago, the company fired a coworker of mine with 2 weeks to go before their deadline with Keller Williams, a massive realtor in the USA. (I’m pretty sure at this point it’s the largest.)

We had a multi-year, multi-million dollar deal with them.

The company fired the developer, leaving us in the lurch and came to me to save the day.

No, we couldn’t ask for more time. Sorry, two weeks was all we had, we’d made promises, and if we didn’t deliver, we were fucked.

So I killed myself for that project. Even though they’d fired my friend, I felt like saving a multi-million dollar contract would lead to some kind of reward. Like even if they dropped ten grand on me! That’s nothing in the scope of a big multi-million dollar contract, right?

So I slept in the office, worked weekends, you name it, and we made our deadline.

I’m called into the office later by my boss, who hands me an envelope and has a gleam in his eye.

“You did a great job, so we wanted to send you some appreciation.”

I opened up the envelope.

It was a $50 Target card.

I was kind of stupefied for a moment. They’d asked me to do something impossible. No one else could have possibly pulled that off, even with 80 hour work weeks and sleeping at the office, it was impossible, and I’d somehow done it.

Tens of millions of dollars annually, guaranteed for five years, and I’d saved the contract.

I looked up at my boss with the card in my hand.

The gleam was still in his eye as he said, “Don’t spend it all in one place.”

I almost committed horrible violence that day.

But that day I also aggressively began sending out resumes to other companies.

And I gained a piece of wisdom:

The company will never love you back.

Never.

Edit: Yes, I did get out of there and get a better job a couple weeks later.

—@oliphant

Be the Orca you wish to see in the world.

—@Zenith

The Star Trek and Daystrom Institute Reddits stood up their own Lemmy server at https://startrek.website/. This is the way. They now answer to nobody.

—@gabek

Wherever I look I can see news about a few very rich individuals being stranded on a submarine that was supposed to take them on a tour of the Titanic. The effort put in place to rescue them appears huge in scope.

Last week over six hundred people died in a #shripweck off the coasts of #Greece and nobody cared. Nobody even bothered to start a rescue operation until it was too late.

Stop pretending people are equal, I hate this hypocrisy.

—@gabrielesvelto

If I have one piece of advice for anyone with a diasbility at work who happens to have an understanding manager it’s to get your accommodations formalised _now_. It’s tempting to sit back and relax if your manager is kind and understanding and accommodates you willingly, but they might leave one day and you could end up with someone who absolutely won’t listen to you. Better to take advantage of your luck and get things in writing immediately.

—@kirsty

Spouse: I have “Karma Chameleon” stuck in my head.

Me: Is it really stuck, or does it come and go?

Spouse: You. Are. An. Asshole.

—@disappearinjon

JetBrains is making a new IDE called Fleet, and, according to a blog post they just released, they’re using a completely custom GUI framework that doesn’t use native OS / Swing controls and just draws to the screen. This is an accessibility disaster in the making.

—@miki