repost
· · to read

[Interior – Olive Garden, festive Italian music playing]

Me: Is it true that when you’re here, you’re family?

Waiter: Absolutely! We strive to make everyone feel welcome and like they are part of the family. Mangia! Hahaha!

Me: That’s awesome.

[intense music]

Me: I really need your help. I’m in debt way over my head, and I don’t have any one else to ask. Can you spot me the money?

Waiter: Oh, here we go again! I can’t just bail you out. You need to learn personal responsibility.

Me: Look, the thrill of gambling got the best of me. Instead of winning, I lost, big time. I owe money to some very scary people. Can’t you just help me out this one time?

Waiter: I can’t keep bailing you out all the time! It won’t solve the underlying problem. Maybe you should chalk it up as a growth opportunity?

Me: Oh, c’mon! You helped Debbie when she got in that car accident!

Waiter: Don’t you take that tone with me young man! That was different, she wasn’t at fault, and she needed a car to get to work. This is just like you! How dare you try to guilt trip me!

Me: Whatever, you are being an asshole like always! Bad things will happen to me if I don’t pay back the debt. I know you have never given a shit about me, but do you think could try at least once in my life?

Waiter: That’s a lie! I care deeply about you, and it pains me to see you like this. But if I keep letting you avoid the consequences, you’ll never learn. Let’s find a solution together. Have you ever though about seeking professional help or credit counseling?

Me: I guess I was hoping you could wave your magic wand and solve this for me. You’re right; I need to clean up my own mess.

[cheerful upbeat music]

Waiter: That’s the spirit! I’ll support you through this process. Let your mistakes be your teachers. I want you to grow and become the man you are supposed to be.

Me: Thanks, it’s a bitter pill, but it’s about time I finally man up. Can I at least have a hug?

Waiter: Sorry, the best I can do is more breadsticks and salad!

Me: Hahah, bring them on!

[I walk into the bathroom and shimmy out the window and curl up in the fetal position to hide in a dumpster]

Voiceover: Olive Garden, because when you’re here, you’re family!

—@StefanThinks

repost
· · to read

The need to preserve private communication is more severe than ever. Encrypted communication remains a crucial cornerstone to safeguarding freedom and human rights worldwide.
But what makes a secure messenger secure and private?

@justinhendrix, @cooperq, Caroline Sinders, Leila Wylie Wagner, @TimBernard, Ami Mehta did a deep dive into the design and technical security of encrypted apps.

(🧵1/2)

https://techpolicy.press/what-is-secure-an-analysis-of-popular-messaging-apps/

—@cityroler

repost
· · to read

Once upon a time, there was a community called Little Details on LiveJournal. It was a place where fiction writers of all kinds could ask for help with their fact-checking and research. It was anb amazing resource before the collapse of LiveJournal took it down.

I recently decided to try resurrecting it on Dreamwidth. It’s now open and ready for questions. Come check it out, and boost if you’re so inclined!

https://little-details.dreamwidth.org/

#writing #fanfiction #fandom #dreamwidth

—@pompelon