Yesterday we valiantly girded our loins and embarked on Scone Fetch Quest 2023.
We hunted down yesterday’s quarry at a garden center, making our way past the artisanal jam and boiled sweet selection, battling many a cheerfully smiling lady asking “Do you have a tray?”.
It was a formidable challenge.
Tray ladies seemed to jump up from behind counters of sponge cake, cupcakes and pork pies. One even ambushed me on the hoof, brandishing a tray with determination as I passed the pasties, yelling “You alright love?! Do you WANT A TRAY?!”
Being the rebels we were, we resisted the tray until we spotted our quarry–2 scones. Behemoths the size of small planets–sitting by a small sign promising fresh strawberries, clotted cream, and a choice of jam.
We acquired our prey, along with tea that could conquer the stomach of the strongest warrior (+2 fortitude), coffee that bequeathed charisma on the drinker. (+5 nice person).
The serving lady then looked at us with a triumphant sniff announcing. “You’ll need a tray to carry all that, WON’T YOU?!”
We got a tray the balance to the universe was restored…
We located a seat with maximum view of our surroundings because there is nothing better than watching the English getting their metaphorical knickers off for cake, then spent 5 minutes arguing on whether or not jam or cream should go first.
Quest completed. Waddling home achieved. Next week we shall brave the local tea shop.
The saga continues…